On June 2, 1953, Elizabeth II was crowned Queen of England. Crown on her head. A coat weighing several kilos on her back. Golden carriage. Trumpets. A sweating Archbishop. An entire nation frozen in front of their black-and-white TV sets to watch a 27-year-old woman officially become the owner of an empire that had already colonized half the planet and probably a few hotel buffets. A historic moment. A moment of grace. A moment where millions of Brits thought to themselves: “Wonderful. From now on, we will be ruled by someone who talks to her dogs better than to her children.”
You have to give Elizabeth credit for one thing: she had composure. A supernatural ability to sail through the decades without ever losing her cool. Wars, Thatcher, the Sex Pistols, Charles, Diana, Boris Johnson, the corgis, Brexit, the neon highlighter suits. The woman survived it all. Even Prince Andrew’s public existence. But above all, Elizabeth understood something essential: style is a pocket-sized nuclear weapon. You could be on the verge of a political, emotional, or intestinal breakdown…
But if you walk across the room with enough style, people will think twice before jumping you. And that is precisely where Patricia Blanchet comes in. Because between us, the British monarchy without the outfits, the bling, and their sordid drama… is just a bunch of billionaire oligarchs in Burberry, drinking tea as if it were cheap, warm lager. Glamour is a disguise. A refined illusion designed to make everyone forget that we are all sweating under the spotlights. Just like fashion, really. Except that at Patricia Blanchet, at least, nobody is forced to marry their cousin to preserve the dynasty.
And let’s face it: if Elizabeth had worn Patricia Blanchet, she probably would have kept a bit more speed until the very end. Picture her showing up at Balmoral in red patent Vivi heels, icy stare, an anti-masculine handbag on her arm, while a British Prime Minister babbles in front of her like a lost intern at Dior. Speaking of Dior, by the way, does it not shock anyone that Johnny Depp is still their brand ambassador? Right. But anyway, that is a sovereign.
Because deep down, a beautiful pair of shoes is exactly like a crown: it serves absolutely no purpose in theory… but it immediately changes the way the world looks at you. Long live spring. Long live women who move forward with courage. And long live our kicks, capable of turning a simple stroll into a coronation ceremony.
