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PATRICIA LOVES YOU MORE THAN EVER AND EVER AND EVER
Oyé - Oyé it's time for summer's cosing News.
Yesterday I passed the symbolic 25 years mark. An age I dreaded. My parents had always told me, at 25 you have to be independent. Not to have to ask them for anything, to pass this milestone. They'd been hammering it into me since I was 7. So I had plenty of time to prepare myself to avoid having my head cut off by this sword of Damocles. Immediately after my baccalaureate, which I didn't pass with honors, and rather with flying colors, I headed for the Sorbonne, where I honed my passion for Lagarde et Michard. In the evenings, I worked at "Pizza Hut". At first, they stuck me with preparing the pizzas. But they soon realized that my hygiene standards were too high to intervene in the kitchen.
Above all, the manager had seen me riding my Vespa, given to me by my grandmother the day before she died. She had entrusted it to me. And she had pimped it like crazy. My grandma was a movie buff. Especially alternative, genre cinema. My grandmother was a woman of strong character. In short, my grandmother, who didn't have a lot of money, adored the film "Mad Max". 1979 version. So she transformed her Vespa into a jet plane. For the simple pleasure to race with Jaguars and Maseratis when she went to the market to buy fruits and vegetables.
As I was her favorite little girl, it was only natural that I should inherit her two-wheeled hellion. But back to "Pizza Hut" and my student days. The manager quickly realized that with me, he had an incomparable delivery force. Whether it was windy, rainy or snowy, I braved the elements and the forbiddens. I was a hothead. I was like a pilotess of the air, ignoring traffic lights and the police, who never managed to intercept me. Thanks to my speed of execution, I earned incredible tips and sometimes the hearts of men as handsome as mobile-homes. Above all, the manager laid off all the other delivery boys to offer me the contract to deliver the entire 11th district.
But word of mouth spread fast and after six months, I controlled the whole of Paris. And I stuck to it. Gold bridges were offered to me to take care of the inner ring road, but I always refused, knowing that a job well done needed limits. Thanks to all the tips I'd accumulated, I was able to buy up every "Pizza Hut" in the capital before selling them three years later for double the price. With the money I bought my parents a house in Sartrouville. It was my father's dream, and I'm proud to have achieved it.
As for me, I'm still that unrivalled driver who goes wild all over Paris in search of intoxication and adrenalin. For a while, I organized Vespas races, which I won every time. Tired of the ease of it all, I decided to put myself at the service of others. You. So I took out my pencils and A4 sheets to create a firework display for each foot. So much for the legend. I'll let you print it out or use it as a wallpaper.
