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IF YOU HAVE NO ONE AT YOUR FEET, PUT ME THERE
Patricia dots the i's and crosses the t's.
Today is the start of lightness. The one with which we must embrace this month of February, which is starting off with a bang and is going to turn our lives into a real raclette party. If you don't like cheese, I'm sorry. But I think you'll get my drift. What I want to tell you is not to go skiing. Who cares about skiing ? It's always the same thing. A mountain is a mountain. Snow is snow.
Although, for some time now, the ski lobby has been using cannons to produce artificial snow that sticks to the soles and feels as good as a full body wax. There are more people on the slopes than on Parisian subway on a strike day, and you have to queue at the lifts as if you were buying a pastry at Grolet. Everything is mega-expensive, making Le Bon Marché look like Lidl. In short, if you want to save money, there's no point in going down the ultra-expensive ski slopes (is the limit).
On the other hand, maybe you'd like to travel, get a change of scenery, because you're fed up with the ambient atmosphere, the youthfulness of the government coupled with a worrying right-wing tendency. You'd like to take the reins of your life and put a big slap in the anthill. But you're not a giant anteater and there's nothing natural about that. If you want to travel first class at a lower cost, nothing could be simpler than putting your feet up in a pair of Patricias. And do you know why? Because to do good around you, you have to be good yourself.
And if there's one accessory in the world that makes this possible, it's my shoes. Did you get hold of the latest study published by the Harvard Times, which claims that putting on my shoes is equivalent to the release of 55 successive orgasms? It's not me saying it, it's science. And not just any science, but quantum science. It's the science of tomorrow. So get with the fashions, get with the times. Get on your way to see me so that I can give you my best advice and you can leave with the pair of your most unmentionable dreams. Sell your skis, your snowboard. Sell your snow tires, your lift pass, your family car, your guy, your family and invest in a sure thing that will never let you down, never talk dirty, never ask you where his underpants, sock or vademecum are. Do yourself a favor, put me at your feet, or even on your knees, I've got tough skin but a soft pubis.
