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When I was little, I wasn't tall, and at that time there was only one god for me. It wasn't Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Patrick Balkany or Karim Achoui.

The man who made my golden triangle wiggle was, and still is (despite his graying fleece) Tom Jones. The lively Welshman has always fascinated me. The range of his voice is an invitation to masturbation. He has sung a number of incandescent hits, including the iconic "What's New Pussycat? Transformed here into the simpler Pussycat, so you'll have no trouble articulating it in its entirety should your friends ask you the name of those sublime booties you're wearing.

Another special feature of this work of art is its telescopic arms, a tribute to the tentacles of Spiderman's arch-enemy, the super-villain Dr. Octopus. So if, like me, you're not a fan of spiders, you'll easily understand why I wanted to put the spotlight on his rival, and if he's got tentacles to boot, it's because he knows what he's doing.

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