THE TRUE STORY OF THE DONNY
Ah, the Donny model... But where does it come from? From what imaginary land did it emerge to grace our feet with such panache? Let me tell you the story of its baroque origins, which, like Donny's heels, will take you to the heights of insolence.
It was a Thursday night. Not one of those mundane Thursdays when you just want to go home and binge-watch series on your suspender belt. No, it was a Thursday when the universe had decided to throw all its testicles of creative genius into my brain. It was as if Salvador Dalí and Frida Kahlo had decided to have a jam session in my head, with a good dose of tranxene, of course.
So I sat down with my glass of gin and its red wine ice cube (because white is for Derrick fans), and started drawing. But nothing came out. Nothing, except a furious desire to break-dance on the table. But as I didn't feel like breaking my plates - vintage ones, anyway - I contented myself with fidgeting in my chair while listening to an old acid-jazz record (more acid than jazz).
And then, suddenly, BAM, the epiphany! Why not create a shoe that could single-handedly overthrow the patriarchy and its mother? Yes, you heard me right. The Donny isn't just a shoe, it's a revolution in patent leather. With its little heel that seems to say “I'm cool, but don't you dare underestimate my power - you little sucker”, and its back decorated with geometric patterns reminiscent of the stained glass windows of a Gothic church where nuns secretly dance the salsa, this shoe means business.
The inspiration really took shape when I tripped over one of my nephew's toy (which I haven't seen since), finding myself in a posture that, surprisingly, resembled that of flamingo spy.
In fact, I said to myself: why should shoes be discreet? Why not give them a personality, a voice, a sharp sense of humor? Donny is the kind of shoe that winks at you and whispers “Today, you're in charge”. It reminds you that yes, you can be glamorous, yes, you can be sexy, and at the same time, yes, you can kick ass if necessary. Which is, let's face it, a daily necessity in the urban jungle.
But wait, I haven't told you about the origin of the name yet. “Donny” is a tribute to... Wait, what was it again? Ah yes! It's a tribute to this imaginary character I made up one night when I didn't feel like going to yet another school reunion. Donny is this guy who's so great he doesn't exist. You know, the kind of guy who turns a barbecue into a black mass with just a guitar and a cute little ass you want to feel up. Well, Donny is that energy, captured in a shoe. A shoe that's there to remind you that you're incredible, that you have the power to change the rules of the game (except those of Uno and 1000 miler), and that you can do it all while looking like a style icon.
But that wasn't all. To celebrate the beauty of the shoe, I decided to hold a fashion show in my living room the size of a Lego living room.
So, ladies, the next time you slip on your Donny, remember that you're not just wearing a pair of shoes. You're wearing a declaration of independence, a touch of madness, and above all, a thumb in the nose of conformity (as intended by Bertolucci). Put them on and conquer the world. And if anyone dares to say that you look a little too sure of yourself... Well, do what Donny would do: smile, turn on your heels (showing the rear motif, of course), and go on your way. Because you don't need anyone's approval. You're a queen, and Donny is your crown.
This piece illustrates perfectly the joy I feel:
