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THE NEWS THAT WILL PUT YOU PEPOUZE
The children's vacation started on Friday. A distant acquaintance told me that French children have too much rest, that they are overloaded with classes and homework, and that they don't go out or play sports enough. So, these holidays every six weeks were, according to her, an absurdity because when they are not in school, they cost money. And I could only agree with her.
Because when he's not at school, my son wants to play pool, tennis, buy games, eat flans, tortillas. Then, she went on about the benefits of Nordic culture. And I listened to her as she rambled on about everything she had to say on the subject. All while puffing like crazy on my pepperoni-flavored e-cigarette.
She was praising the smart schedules implemented in Lapland, Sweden. Yeah, yeah, I thought. But then, if their society was so advanced, why wasn’t my girlfriend going there? I told her as much. I confronted her with her contradictions. And I encouraged her to head north if it was so wonderful, so respectful of children's development and human rights.
Then, she tensed up while telling me that leaving wasn't so simple. That moving a family, quitting her job, and taking the risk of ruining everything on a whim had to be considered. She needed time to evaluate, to see if it was really worth it. The way she spoke, how she ultimately found all the excuses not to put into practice what she had advised, seemed utterly fragile to me, not to say cowardly.
Without a second thought, and because I wanted to prove her both wrong and right, I called Air France right in front of her eyes for a one-way ticket to Helsinki. Then, I called my man, ordering him to quit his job, followed by the school, to inform them that my son would no longer attend starting now. Still under her astonished gaze, I opened my closets and threw my clothes, as well as my family's, into our suitcases. Then I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, told her to take care of herself, and to not let her deep desires overwhelm her too much.
Today, I live surrounded by wolves, bears, beavers, and snowmobiles, but I have never been happier to have been right and to have done what I said I would do. Even if it wasn't me who had the idea in the first place.
