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We're just five days into a presidential campaign that's as boring as reading the phone book.

After the scarecrow Zemmour, who chickened out because he didn't know what else to talk about apart from the Great Replacement.

After the return of the 3rd man, favourite spokesman for the disunited left, who promised to be present in the second round. After Jean-Marie's daughter, whose comments may have seemed less radioactive given the other extreme candidate.

After the left-wing candidate's promise to turn France into a replica of Paris, with cycle lanes on every motorway and roadworks on every corner, it has to be said that there was not a single promise about shoes.

Because yes, I'm sorry, unless I'm mistaken, but everyone walks and moves around in shoes. And if no one wakes up between now and then, if no candidate starts making concrete proposals to enable people to invest in shoes, I'm afraid that no voter will vote for anyone.

We would then find ourselves without a president and then without a government. We'd be free to invest our tax money in shoes, video games and literature. Amen to that.

Today marks the 28th anniversary of the suicide of Kurt Cobain, the man who made Guns n' Roses obsolete.

It's a bad date, but it's also the birthday of Pharrell Williams, who, before becoming the guy who got a bit too much airplay with his H.A.P.P.Y, did a few cool things:

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