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We are one day away from Bastille Day with its parade of tanks, armoured vehicles, rocket launchers, missile-launching aircraft and now drones capable of killing targets without being ordered to do so.

For my part, and in order to add a touch of sparkle, liveliness and humanity to this parade, I contacted the Chief of Staff of the Armed Forces to offer to equip his troops.

I'd love to see sergeants and captains wearing a pair of Captain Love or Gaby, all decked out in glitter, walking down the Champs-Elysées. It looks like we're well on the way to achieving this by 2022, so keep your fingers crossed. Fingers also crossed for the President's Garden Party and his interview.

After Mc Fly and Carlito, who is he going to pull out of his hat to ask the tough questions? Samuel Etienne? Evelyne Leclerc? Which Youtuber will make our young President tremble with his impertinent questions? My knees are shaking.

So what else happened on July 13th apart from the birth of Robert Forster, Pam Grier's beautiful, discreet love interest in Jackie Brown?

Well, Harrison Ford is turning 79 today.

Who the fuck would have thought that Indiana Jones was getting old? He had found the Holy Grail in the third instalment, the ultimate dud that brought the 80s to a close and plunged Hollywood into tasteless, insubstantial, risk-free, soulless films of little interest.

Nonetheless, the New Hollywood and the 80s gave us a figure without equal who dominated the screens for more than 15 years. From Han Solo to Indiana, via Witness and Mosquito Coast, he left his mark on the era with a whip that I would have loved to have been strangled with.

In the meantime, you can always wriggle on:

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